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Tell Me About: Spanking

Spanking was one of the first things I put onto my “Hell Yes” list when we began exploring BDSM. I didn’t do a whole lot of research, naively thinking I had a good understanding of the subject! Oh how little I knew!!!!

Thankfully MrH did do research. Unbeknownst to me, a lot of research. He found websites and forums, and brought them to my attention. In his post A New Dom’s Tale he talks about the first 6 months and his experience and his thoughts on early spankings too.

We have a number of spanking tools (crop, paddle, floggers. a cane and most recently a Squealer) but in this post I am going to focus on hand spanking.

The First Time

I’d been cheeky. I can’t remember the exact details. I remember I was wearing jeans, and we were stood up. It started with a cuddle, and I think it might have been completely unplanned on MrH part. He swatted my backside with a resounding “smack.” He followed with more. By the end I was clinging to him.

I expected to feel pain but I didn’t. I felt a catharsis, a release. My head swam, like I had taken codine, standard release tramadol, or had a little too much to drink.

A few hours later, MrH was in the bath, I experienced my first major subdrop. I suddenly burst into tears. I reached out to some other subs online and they explained what I was feeling was the “subdrop” I had read about. I had come across the term a few times but as I said earlier, I was entirely naive, and I didn’t understand what it meant. I soon found out.

The subs told me to reach out to MrH, which I did, but he too didn’t quite understand or realise how it would manifest. When he got out of the bath he held me tight and I cried myself out. For the next few days I felt like I had a cold. My body ached and my head felt foggy.

Over The Knee

My first over the knee spanking came during a hotel stay. The room had a chair that didn’t have arms on it and so MrH was able to sit on the chair, feet firmly planted on the floor, with me over his knee. I felt a little unstable, a little humiliated (which I kinda liked) and deeply submissive.

Between swots MrH fingered my pussy and I did climax during the spanking. Afterwards I started to shake uncontrollably, shivering. MrH wrapped me up and held me until it subsided.

We haven’t done many over the knee spankings. It’s hard to get the position right. I keep meaning to suggest the position using the end of the bed so my upper body is lay over MrH and pillows under my knees to keep my body properly supported, but the beds at Hotels are high and unless the child goes out we don’t have the spanking opportunity at home.

Healing Hands

I am a tactile person and I think touch has power. It can hurt or heal depending on the intent. MrH used to give me relaxing back rubs, which usually ended in sex ☺️ but the effect of a spanking is so much more.

I do have constant chronic pain and depression. The endorphin release from impact play is wonderful, even taking into account the inevitable drop, although as I have become accustomed to it the effect of that has lessened too.

It’s been a while since I got the shakes after play, or burst into tears. I do get a little “dithery” occasionally over a couple of days after a hotel date or particularly intense scene, but we manage it with some sugary tea and chocolate.


A hand spanking is, I think, the most intimate. The skin on skin contact. Just thinking about it makes my heart skip a beat. The range of options (spank, stroke, slap, or tap) available as well as being able to add in sexual play (finger penetration or clitoral stimulation) makes it even more interesting.

MrH took a Picture of my bottom after one spanking and his hand print could be seen, red against my white skin. I love that image but I’m also glad that MrH isn’t aiming to leave bruises. Whilst I appreciate some people love that, sitting is uncomfortable enough for me without having bruises on my arse to deal with too!

The Future is in His Hands.

I know MrH enjoys spanking me. He wouldn’t do it if he didn’t, and so I am sure that there will be more spankings in the future.

For my own part, I would like MrH to include more talking during a spanking, but that goes for all our play really, having him tell me what he’s seeing and what he likes is a big turn on for me. It also provides me with feedback, reassurance and proof that he’s enjoying our dynamic.

For more posts on “Spanking” for the Tell Me About project click the image above.

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