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Tell Me About: Collars and Cuffs

This is something that I have written about before, my collars I mean, and I say collars because I have a few.

My first post dedicated to them, collars and chains discussed the basics and why we decided to use them. Since then I’ve posted about new collars made and these have been relatively brief, but I think I have talked about the symbolic value of my chains and collars in a number of posts, and I will try not to repeat myself too much.

In the beginning

When we talked about adding D/s into our relationship and how that would work for us, we agreed it would be nice to have some form of visual confirmation for MrH and I to acknowledge that when this was worn we were actively engaged in the D/s dynamics. Something that said “I am wearing this and agree to submit” and so when I am not wearing this I do not. Of course this was when we thought we would not be doing this full time.

We liked the idea of a chain or necklace as it would be inconspicuous and MrH chose the design. This was the first piece of jewelry he had ever chosen for me.

I loved it. When I was missing him I would hold it and pull it tight.. unfortunatly it wasn’t practical to sleep in and so MrH (being a handy sort of man) made me a collar out of paracord.

This was great as a start. One side was longer then the other, but it did what we needed, it gave me something to sleep in that was safe.

Sleep collar 2.0

MrH practiced with different designs and while bored one day I came across a YouTube video of how to make a bracelet in a design called conquistador and I really liked it. I showed MrH and he set about learning how to do it. Eventually he made me the collar I still wear to this day.

Its comfortable and I know I’m wearing it. It’s large enough to feel like a collar without being rigid.


Mrh started to work with chainmalle. He likes to keep busy and during the winter there isn’t much he can do at our allotment. He made this one with some matching cuffs which I think he planned for me to wear at a BDSM event some time.

And then he made me a day collar. We bought sterling silver rings and he made me the collar I now wear every day.

It’s pretty and unique. More importantly it was made for me by MrH which makes it priceless.


The day chain and night collars soon took on a secondary purpose. They form part of our daily commitment ritual. Each morning MrH removes my night collar and replaces it with my day chain. He asks me 3 questions and I answer. We repeat this at night. You can read about our ritual here it forms a huge part of what we do and how we remain connected.

Future collars

We do have some leather cuffs for play time. These attach to under bed restraints, the overdoor restraints, themselves, or our spreader bar and we use them usually at hotel stays. I’m hopeful that eventually they will be used at home too (when S2 finally moves out).

What they mean to me

In writing this I’ve had chance to look back at these early chains and collars. I do still hope that MrH will make another night collar because this one is so comfortable that it would be nice to have one to wear and be able to wash this one (I do get night sweats), but it also took him a while to make. The one we have now is dark blue and I’d like a different colour. Perhaps a few different colours, cream definitely, black, maybe dark brown.

I do sometimes miss wearing my first day chain and I might suggest to MrH that sometimes he picks that for me to wear. It’s special because MrH chose it and it was the first symbol of my submission.

I saw this initially as something I would put on myself, and in doing so this showed MrH I was still silently agreeing to submit to him.

It became apparent quickly that our D/s would be a full time thing, and we talked about the night collar. I asked if we could have some kind of ritual, a daily routine or affirmation when the collars were exchanged, and I asked if he would be willing to put the collars on me, claiming me as it were. MrH agreed and he came up with the wording we use. Every day he puts my collar around my neck, runs his hands from my shoulders down to my hands, and crosses my hands in his round my body. He pulls me against him and holds me tight as we complete the ritual.

For me, the collars mean I am his. He puts them on me and I know I belong to him. Yes, I have a wedding ring, our D/s hasn’t negated our wedding vows, rather our D/s has supplimented them and my collars and chains are other symbols of our commitments.

14 thoughts on “Tell Me About: Collars and Cuffs”

  1. I can so see my man doing something like this with paracord. He uses that stuff for all kinds of stuff!

    I love the first necklace he chose, and I can see why you’d like to go back to it sometimes. I think the idea behind putting it on yourself is perfect.

  2. This is such an awesome post and Mr H is very talented man, what wonderful things he has made you. I think they’re all super pretty. I love hearing about people’s thoughts on their collars, they are such a prominent feature of D/s for so many folks and they feelings and thoughts attached to them are often so beautiful and loving that it’s hard not to be moved by them and your post is no exception to that. Fabulous stuff x

  3. A great post sweet and I love all the work that Mr H does to produce these beautiful collars. I think it makes them really special that he has made them especially for you 🙂

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