Writing about Love, Marriage,
&
The Kinky Side of Life
(among other things)

life experiences

changing plans

Best Laid Plans

Our plans for this week originally began with 2 nights away at our favourite hotel. Those two nights would have been filled with sex and rope and impact play. We would have dined in the restaurant, loved each other and laughed in a bubble. Instead we moved T and J into their new home and the hotel has been cancelled. Best laid plans. We focused on the following week. Making plans to get our playroom set up and painted. We could play and have a fucking fabulous time. Wrong again. Monday morning the council decided to sort out the rising

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Suicide – too close for comfort

I really wasn’t sure I could write for this prompt. It feels too close, too raw, but i decided to just put down a few lines and link my recent posts so I’m not repeating myself too much. Both our sons have now considered suicide, our youngest just a Few weeks ago. T battled the impulse for years (When your children suffer), I’m hoping that J will not. T refused to take medication. J takes it. I have had my own mental health battles, (I say battles for the war goes on), but I never considered suicide. My boys kept

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fuming

Fuming

Today J is heartbroken, fuming and disappointed. The university rescinded the offer of a place. They have given him 3 reasons for their decision. One of his qualifications wasn’t what he thought it was and so he doesn’t have the required UCAS points to automatically qualify. The man who processed his application made a mistake and put that he had a level 3 qualification which he doesn’t. When the course tutor reviewed the application they decided that he didn’t have a strong enough background yet. They have advised him to do a one year level 3 course before applying next

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seaside

Be beside the seaside

Today we went to the seaside with J and his best friend A, (the young lady we have pretty much adopted into our family). As I was saying we went to the seaside. The plan was simply to walk up and down the beach. Feeling the sand under our bare feet, paddling in the sea and soaking up some vitamin D. While we were there A wanted to take some pictures, and so we posed for a couple. Mr H and I walked ahead of them for a while and unbeknownst to us she snapped a few pictures of us

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spanish inquisition

No one expects the Spanish inquisition

I use my blog to get my thoughts down on virtual paper and stop them from swirling around, my own version of the spanish inquisition, where I interrogate myself endlessly. Things have been rough for Mr H and I recently. Not in our relationship or in D/s terms, no, in fact I think that has helped us to weather it. This weeks Food 4 Thought prompt asks why do you write? Writing helps me process. I also hope that perhaps in some way the ups and downs of my life will reassure others that they are not alone. I wrote

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depression

Down, Drained and Disconnected

I’m drained. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. I want to curl up and cry.  Mr H knows I’m not ok, and he’s worried but I don’t know how to fix me, I don’t know what I need. I feel distant and disconnected, from myself and everything. The last few weeks (months?) have caught up with me. Drained by life. I’ve had a few friends I haven’t been able to connect with/talk to because, well they are busy and have their own things to deal with, but I miss them and end up feeling like I’ve done something wrong and that’s why they haven’t

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3 things

3 things

The prompt for this weeks SB4MH is what 3 things would you tell your 5 year self to remember? Sounds simple enough only it isn’t. I mean you can’t tell a 5 year old not to marry the first man she has sex with can you? Highly inappropriate. You can’t say tell your mum you want braces, cos you have no idea what braces could mean, but then again.. at 5 big things happened to me and so there are things I could say….. Remember…. You did nothing wrong. My mum left my dad when I was 5. She woke

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She’s so lucky

MrH said to me last night, you never know your luck, we have a lottery ticket. I replied, “I used up all my luck when I met you,” and I meant it. Once upon a time, my life was dull. I was a good girl and I felt like Cinderella, and hoped one day I would be rescued by a handsome prince. I met my first husband, and I thought I was rescued. I wasn’t. Instead I was returned to the basement for further abuse. I realised I had to rescue myself and I did. When I met MrH I

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Treat others…

As you would wish to be treated. These are the words I live by. I truly believe that what you do in this world comes back to you. So, if you treat others well you will likely be treated well in return. If only everyone could live the same way. To see more posts about favourite phrases or words to live by click the image below. To see all my Food for Thought posts click here

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Incentive

If I loose 10lbs I can have my belly pierced again… That’s what MrH told me today.  He called it an incentive. I’m 1 stone 10lbs above my target weight so I think he’s, is being kind not making me loose it all. Having said that, I am very aware I will have to be strict with myself to achieve the 10 lbs loss… So, my food diary is back on my phone. I’ve got the syn value of the usual things saved, and I have a reward to look forward to.. Then the only thing left to pick will be

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