When your children suffer

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I live with depression, I have for many years. I started to crawl out of the dark pit of despair in 2008 after 3 years of living in darkness.  What I don’t talk about (partly because it’s not my story exactly) is the day in 2012 when my son came home and said “when I see a car driving down the road towards me I just want to jump in front of it so it will be …

I’m fine….

These two words are a lie.  Almost every (and I’m going to say it) woman who utters these two words just lied.  Add in a mental illness and everyone, man or woman, who says it – lied, but we would rather lie than inflict our pain on someone else.  We would rather hide behind the lie than face the truth and say it. I am not fine. It took me years to get the courage to be honest when someone asked me “are you ok?” Because “I’m tired” …

depression

You’ll be ok

Every morning I look through my WordPress feed as I wait to go to work, and this morning there was a post by SubMissy Control Freak that really touched me. So much I decided to share something of my own. I have my own struggles with mental health and promoting awareness is something I feel strongly about. In 2003 my father died, suddenly. He was 51 and he had a massive heart attack. After the postmortem we discovered that he had in fact had many …

butt plug

Plugged

I told you to watch this space.  MrH has gone to the allotment. I’m sewing.  Before he left he took my hand and asked me to come with me. He took me upstairs, pulled down my leggings, told me to spread my cheeks and inserted the butt plug. If it gets uncomfortable I have to message him. I love it when Mr H makes me wear the butt plugs, it feels so naughty. 

Serenity in submission 

I used to be quite an anxious person and although I do not mean to suggest I am ‘cured’ because I doubt very much that I ever will be, my anxiety has reduced. I believe this is due to the introduction of dominance and submission to my life.  When I am with Mr H, I am calm, he is in charge and this seems to be the key to keeping my anxiety under control. Letting go of the need to be in charge and micromanage …