Writing about Love, Life, Marriage,

&

Kinky Fuckery!

(among other things........)

18+

Letting go

How I’m Letting Go of Negativity and Feeling Great!

Letting go of learned behaviours must be one of the hardest things to do. I say this because at 45 I still struggle to leave food on my plate, and no matter how I try when I put clothes on I immediately focus on how big my backside and hips are. These things are leftovers from my childhood that resurface over and over again. One of the reasons I am refocusing on losing weight is because I know it impacts my mental health negatively when I am over weight. Rationally and logically I know beauty isn’t defined by size, but

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Taz the tasmanian devil

Taz, the Tasmanian Devil.

I watched cartoons a lot as a child, I mean, a lot. My youngest sibling was born when I was a few months away from 10 and he became my real life doll. I spent hours entertaining and supervising him when my mum had driving lessons, or when my parents went out, but the character I always identified with most was Taz the Tasmanian Devil. He would spin onto screen destroying everything in his path and no one seemed to understand a word he said. He puts the Taz in Tasmania. I was a messy child, I complain that my

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Hell

Living Hell

The nerve block proceedure I had on the 29th did provide some relief for a few days, as long as I didn’t move about. When I did go out for brief periods to see if there was improvement, I was sadly dissapointed to find the relief was negligable. Sunday J went off to work, and we had time alone. Mr. H held me tight, kissed me and we made love. Sometimes I think you need vanilla, at least I do anyway. Later in the day when we got the cane out for my Sunday caning things went horribly wrong. I

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woman in gray tank top while sitting on bed

Week 2 weigh in- talking shit

It’s Saturday again, time to step on the scales, and I also think it’s time we talked about a difficult topic. Yes, we need to talk shit. Today hasn’t been a good food day. We were supposed to have spaghetti bolognese for tea but, it smelled off. I mean off. I was upstairs and the smell turned my stomach, and so with no other option (it’s shopping day tomorrow) we ordered takeout. I got chicken strips and chips, but ate far too much. I ignored all my own rules (it was 8pm when it arrived and I was very hungry),

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voyeur

The Voyeur in me

Playing in public, being watched or being the voyeur is something that intrigues me a great deal, but does that mean it is something I want to do? Gerri Halliwell’s song Look At Me as all about the media obsession with taking pictures of celebrities, and more recently, Lady Gaga, used the media as inspiration for her song Paparazzi. Being viewed as an object is nothing new for some people, especially those who live in the world of celebrity but for the average person, that level of intrusion is unsettling. I think that the appeal of many porn films is

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Fate brought us together

There’s no fate but what we make.

Yes I know this quote about fate is blatantly stolen from The Terminator and often quoted but it isn’t really something I believe. I have written before about how I believe our lifes are mapped out and that in many ways free will is an illusion. When we make a choice we were always ment to make it, to take that path. Fate – you can’t escape it. If we accept this to be true, that our lives follow a predetermined path, who then determines it? Some would say God I suppose, and others the universe. I’m not sure I

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weakness

My weakness

Sweets. Sweets and desserts are my weakness. I have a sweet tooth like you wouldn’t believe. I make my meal choices in a restaurant based on what is on offer for dessert. It really is no surprise that I am overweight, in fact what is surprising, is that I am not a lot more overweight. Knowing this is a weakness and doing something about it however, are two very different things. The syns method used by Slimming world means I can have anything I want, and using the flexi syn method there isn’t anything I can’t have. I have 105

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Proper planning

Planning is important in most things, as the saying goes proper planning prevents piss poor performance, and Mr. H loves to plan. We once went on a hotel stay we had forgotten about and it went so poorly because he hadn’t planned for it. Now I’m not saying I dont like a plan, because I do, but I also love spontaneity. Food Choices. Meal Saturday 25th July Value Breakfast Cereal 40g HE B Lunch Soup 3.5 syn Tea Jacket potato Free Tea Salad, and beans Free Tea cheese 20g HE A Supper Cereal 20g 4 syns Snacks Carrots Free Treat

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Week 1 weigh in

Saturday morning arrived, after a particularly poor night sleep and it was time to see if I have achieved a weight loss. I probably didn’t help myself as before settling down I spent a while fondling Mr. H cock. It was quite relaxing, slowly and gently feeling his cock as it got harder. I admit to being his cock whore, I would happily spend all day fondling him. I love the smooth silkly texture of the skin, and how it glides through my hand. Naturally when I tried to sleep I was mentally distracted by being a little aroused. Weight

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Syns and things.

I finally got online access and was able to check the syn values. Some were pretty close, some had changed. Anyway, Mr. H and I sat and did a menu for next week, put together the shopping for delivery, and wrote down all the syn values for items we have coming on Saturday, and things in the cupboards already. This way Mr. H knows how many syns he is giving me, and I am reporting how many syns I am having. Syns or sins? ‘Syns’ short for synergy, is the term used to describe the naughty foods that make you

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