I really wasn’t sure I could write for this prompt. It feels too close, too raw, but i decided to just put down a few lines and link my recent posts so I’m not repeating myself too much.
Both our sons have now considered suicide, our youngest just a Few weeks ago. T battled the impulse for years (When your children suffer), I’m hoping that J will not. T refused to take medication. J takes it.
I have had my own mental health battles, (I say battles for the war goes on), but I never considered suicide. My boys kept me here, they needed me. I often thought Mr H would be happier without me, but that’s a different topic. So, in effect I will always say while I understand depressive illness, I cannot fully understand how they, in that moment, felt such despair that ending their lives was preferable to living.
I do tell them I love them.
I do tell them how proud I am of them.
I do tell them that they are wonderful kind young men.
But… I am very aware that if they decide to end their lives they will. They didn’t tell me their plans before. They told me when they couldn’t go through with it, and don’t get me wrong, I am glad they did tell me, I’m glad they couldn’t go through with it, but I also know how close I came to losing them.
To anyone reading this who has these thoughts, anyone who thinks the world would be better with them gone, I beg you, don’t give up, not yet.
You never know things might be about to get good ❤
This post is linked to Sex Bloggers 4 Mental Health #34 ‘Suicide Prevention’, click HERE to read more posts inspired by the topic.