According to one of the blogger’s I follow (Furcissy), there used to be a set word used to describe the amazing feeling you get during intense play. For me I like to say subspace, because I feel I float away, I’m weightless, away from myself, feeling everything but so entirely well… amazing.
This is different to me than what I describe as my submissive mindset/mental state, which is simply feeling submissive/willing to submit.
Missing Subspace.
It’s been a while since we had any play that really pushed me for a significant amount of time into this subspace. I’ve had moments, glimpses, been pushed to the edge of drifting but pulled back quickly.
This isn’t a complaint, don’t misunderstand, I’ve asked MrH to ‘use me’ as I have found this to be very erotic and it helps to sustain my submissive mind set. I love it when he takes pleasure by holding my hair in his fist to control my head and using my mouth, thrusting my head onto his cock until I can taste his precum, or alternatively holding my head still and thrusting into my mouth… Well I’m wet and ready just remembering 😊…
I think it’s perhaps because we haven’t been away… I’m missing the play where we have multiple sessions close together…
Not all our D/s play leads to sex either… Rope play for example, MrH ties me up in whatever manner he is working on. He may take a photo if he’s happy with the result, and then he unties me and we go to sleep.
The cane is the same..mostly if MrH uses the cane on me he will pick a point to end play, put the cane away and we move to aftercare and sleep.
I think it’s a good thing because it means I’m not always thinking this will end in an orgasm. Which I would because, well, I like them hehehe. Not everything we do comes down to a sexual release. When Mr H’s goal is relaxation with the cane or rope that’s what he does, and I always sleep well, because the impact play does sometimes send me into the realms of subspace.
The things that send me into subspace, generally starts with a multiple or forced orgasm, that ebbs and flows, over and over, where my body never fully comes down between peaks and reaches higher each time, then suddenly it’s almost like a silent explosion inside my mind and it disconnects, then I’m floating, no-longer thinking, just reacting instinctively. It’s been a while since I went there, from sex play and I wonder when Mr H plans to send me back…..
Sweetgirl x
Subspace is the current word that signifies adrenaline and endorphin highs.
It was in olden days that it used to mean something else but that something else now goes by submissive mental space. This space exists in addition to the other two things that you wrote about.
The voice that calls when the ache sets in and you absolutely positively know that you HAVE to feel submissive or you will crumble… that is the calling of submissive mental space.
Thanks FC … I just thought I’d take a leaf out of your book and describe what they meant to me … Cos I know it’s different to you… And the ‘old guard’ hehehe
Hehe. I just pull the grumpy old man and cling to definitions of yore.
I try to keep up on the current vernacular working definitions but I want people to be aware of the different meanings that they have had considering it wasn’t all that long ago (e.g. 10 years).
Grumpy old man hahaha
You must have a fairly high pain tolerance, that getting caned still means relaxation for you. If I understand correctly, it’s not punishment in your case and there need not be a special reason for MrH to apply it. Does pain alone suffice to shift you into subspace?
Hi Poimandres thank you for your question. MrH does not use the cane to cause me much pain. I wouldn’t say I have a high pain tolerance either, probably the opposite as I live with chronic pain. Because I exist daily at a level 4/5 it doesn’t take much to push me beyond.. so for a person without pain they could travel from 0 to 8 whereas I only have from 4 to 8 (does that make sense?). I would imagine that some ‘hard core’ people wouldn’t even consider MrH’s use of the cane as a true ‘caneing’. He does not leave even semi-permanent marks, I’m never bruised, he never breaks the skin. What he does is a tapping all over that just melts me. When he applies harder strikes he does so in groups of 10 and although they push me to a 7/8 on my pain scale it’s never beyond that. And the result is that the pain I feel is never ‘too much’. He strokes to bring me down and continue to relax me during the caneing too. I think with any impact play it depends on the end goal and how the implement is used. If MrH were to use the cane as a punishment I would suspect that subspace would not be achieved.
Thank you very much for your extensive answer. May I ask a question, that has nothing to do with BDSM: does the treatment of Mr.H. lead to any relaxation of your back pains by alleviating tensions? I also have great problems with my back, which do not only lead to pain but also block circulation of blood to some parts of my body like the brain, arms and legs in extreme cases. The usual physical therapy does not help much. It has to do with various kinds of stress, usually more emotional and mental than physical stress. Could you say anything about the connection of comparatively mild pain inflicted and the pain caused by problems with your back muscles and spine?
Thank you very much for your extensive answer. May I ask a question, that has nothing to do with BDSM: does the treatment of Mr.H. lead to any relaxation of your back pains by alleviating tensions? I also have great problems with my back, which do not only lead to pain but also block circulation of blood to some parts of my body like the brain, arms and legs in extreme cases. The usual physical therapy does not help much. It has to do with various kinds of stress, usually more emotional and mental than physical stress. Could you say anything about the connection of comparatively mild pain inflicted and the pain caused by problems with your back muscles and spine?
I can honestly say that I do have pain relief from the caneing, moreso than with any other impact play (flogging or spankings). MrH uses the tapping over my shoulders and upper back as well as bottom and thighs. He never hits directly on the spine. The best I can liken it to is … If you pick up a pen in one hand and tap it onto the palm of your other hand in a steady 2 taps per second rhythm, that’s the feeling he creates on my body. The impact increases circulation, and, I usually do deep breathing to manage the higher pain strikes too. I also find the rhythmic strikes relaxing. After a caneing session like this I sleep really well and wake up in less pain than usual.
I have also found that the introduction of our D/s dynamic has (for the most part) helped me to alleviate some anxiety from my life. If you want to communicate privately feel free to contact me via the contact page, I am happy to help in any way I can.
[…] building a tolerance for pain, and as such over time more is needed to reach the same place where subspace occurs. I am sure that in time I will be able to take more […]