I could really do with a rousing motivational speech.  The consultant doesn’t want me to take the strong opioids, without the strong opioids my pain is at level 8.  To remind you what that means, I have put the pain scale below.  I am trying to stay positive but when all you can think about is how much you hurt, it becomes difficult.   Extremely difficult.



My Pain

For years I have equated my pain to a 7 without pain medication.  The medication has always reduced it to a 4 or 5.  At the moment I am at a 9 the morphine drops me to an 8 and the caudal epidural I was supposed to have on Saturday has been cancelled because of my new symptoms.

Quite frankly I don’t know how much longer I can stand this pain.  Like I said, I really need a motivational speech right now, or someone to take this pain away!

I have so much I want to do.  I want to write for Food 4 Thought, especially as it is my suggestion but I can’t concentrate.  This post has taken me 3 hours so far.  183 words in 3 hours, and I have taken diazepam.  Without it I would still be curled up in a ball.

Where’s that motivational speech?

Well, I just don’t have one in me.


Sweetgirl x

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