A Submissive Wife's Blog.

Love, Life, and Kinky Fuckery

I want you to fuck my ass

“I want you to fuck my ass,” was one of the first dirty things I asked Mr H for, if you don’t count spanking or asking him to be my Dominant.  It was also one of the hardest things I have asked for.  In fact asking him to do things to me is something I find really, really hard.

But why?

This is something I ask myself time and time again.  Why, why, why?  The thing is, I really don’t know.  Why can’t I just say what I want or what I would like.  It isn’t as if I don’t have the vocabulary.

I would like you to fuck my arse please?

It isn’t that difficult.

Please would you put a finger inside me?

I’m almost certain Mr H would like me to say it.

Would you give me oral sex please?

So what stops me?  I guess my main worry is that he will say no.

Rejection.

A few years ago our sexual relationship was not great, I would reach out to him and ask if we could have some grown up fun and he would say he was tired.  I was really overweight and I believed that made Mr H not want me where in reality he was unhappy at work, working long hours, worried about my mental health and simply tired a lot.  Between my menstrual issues that created limited opportunities for sex, and the rejections, we probably only had sex 6 times in a 12 to 18 month period.  Every time I felt that he had not wanted to really, he was just doing it for a quiet life.

There were many nights when he would go to sleep and I would cry, feeling fat and disgusting.  My self worth is pretty fragile and at my core I react very badly to the word no.

What you say v’s what I hear.

When Mr H says he is tired, I hear I don’t want you.  My inner monologue turns it into a personal rejection and I am tired becomes an excuse he says rather than admitting that I disgust him.   I try very hard to silence that mean bitch – I mean my inner voice, because she is mean! Really mean!

Even with everything we have been through, the steps forward with the D/s I still fear that deep down he is only with me until someone better comes along.  We have been together for almost 25 years, and I think his mum still thinks he made a mistake.

Rejecting Fear.

So what am I going to do? That’s the million pound question.  At some point I am going to have to face the fear head on and start asking for things.  Perhaps that will be my personal development aim for 2020.   I am going to have to find a way to stop that inner bitch from turning a no into a whole conversation.  Mr H  will help me if I ask him to and he will probably enjoy watching me blush when I ask him to fuck my ass too.

 

Sweetgirl x

To see all the posts submitted for Wicked Wednesday this week click the badge above.

All my Wicked Wednesday posts can be found HERE.

You can read some of our sex stories that include anal and oral sex, by clicking the links below:

A dirty Treat

Friday Night Fun

Bestvibe Double Head Mini Wand Review

Fantastic Friday Fuck

 

Share this post with
Share on twitter
Share on facebook
Share on whatsapp
Share on email

14 thoughts on “I want you to fuck my ass”

  1. Maybe I should join you and make this a goal for myself too in 2020: to ask for what I want. Seeing the circumstances as they are, asking might just be what we need to spark some things again… but… there is still the fear of rejection.

    Rebel xox

  2. Great goal. I personally actually prefer anal. When I was still ‘working’, I tried to make a point of cleaning myself out in my rear area and making sure they knew it. Just as part of the personal hygiene. I would say that over half the men I was with then became curious. Just a thought.

    1. MrH doesn’t seem to be bothered either way, but if we are going away I do clean up 😉😉 my problem is with asking, and it isn’t just anal, its anything but you know how some words work well in a title lol….

  3. Hey, he’s not likely to turn you down, and if you don’t ask, you don’t get……..always 😉

    What is the best cleaning routine for you, or anyone else reading this?!

    1. MrH is in control of our schedule and he does say no, for many reasons. He tells me that I can ask for anything but he might not say yes.

      If I have notice and instructions to prepare Ihave an anal blub, I just fill it with warm water, lube the end, insert, squeeze, empty. I repeat a couple of times.

      Otherwise, prior to play I always visit the loo and I give myself a quick wipe with a wet wipe.

  4. I can absolutely identify with this, This is something I’ve always struggled with, in part because in every relationship ever there has been an element of feeling rejecting when a request hasn’t been met with the reaction I was hoping for, this wasn’t always meant with actual rejection in mind though and I wonder if perhaps I didn’t always express my needs as well as I could have. You post is timely because only in the last week or so I found myself maybe not asking for, but certainly indicating I would like certain things and the fear of rejection or being seen as a bit too ‘weird’ was high, it went well though and I actually got one of the things I asked for, I suspect one or two of the others may follow. So I guess I now know sometimes taking the plunge is well worth the cringey feelings I feel while saying the words out loud xxx

    1. It absolutely isn’t easy. I am glad you got one of the things you wanted. I actually asked MrH to put his fingers inside me during play the other night! Progress all round eh?? 🙂

I'd love to hear your thoughts... please leave me a comment.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Content Advisory. NSFW.

Under 18? Please read.

This Blog contains Adult Content

If you are under 18 and looking for advice on sex and relationships visit Bish or Scarleteen. For links to these sites click the button. Sweetgirl x
Under 18? Click Here
Find and follow me..
Filter Posts by Category
Filter posts by month..
Share with
Share on twitter
Share on facebook
Share on whatsapp
Share on email
Recent posts on Twitter

Suitable for younger audiences

If you want information about sex and relationships try these sites.

Bish

Scarleteen

Take care now, 

Sweetgirl x

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Before You Go Any further

Are you over 18?