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The kinky side of life.

Horny as Hell

I want him. I want him in me. I want him to fuck me – hard and fast and often.  It feels lately as if we don’t play much anymore.  In the early months, the frenzy months, we couldn’t get enough of each other. We exchanged dirty messages. I would come home from work and often I would be allowed to suck Sirs cock when he came in.

The Frenzy Passed

Then things calmed down a little and we fell into a routine. We generally had sex twice a week. Then it fell to once a week. Lately it’s been less.

I have always felt that I want MrH more than he wants me. He has often said he could go without sex longer than I could. It’s always worried me that he just isn’t that into me. It makes me ask stupid questions like: Does he really like sex with me?

I see him naked and I want him.

I don’t want Normal?

One of the first things that changed with our D/s relationship was that I sleep naked- MrH asked me to stop wearing pyjamas to bed. In my head, and in the beginning, MrH would reach out and initiate sex.

He doesn’t react when he sees me. Sometimes if I have a new bra he will comment that it looks good, but generally, I get no response.

I don’t do well at bringing these thoughts out into the open. I just hide the hurt. I don’t know how to deal with the apparent disparity between how I feel and how he feels, between the level of my desire and his. I hate that I ask him everyday “do you have plans for me tonight?” And I hate that my heart drops and I feel sad when he says no. I hate that I automatically see that as him rejecting me. I hate that I slowly start to pull away. I stop asking because I don’t like the answer. I don’t want to hug because it makes me miss him. It makes me miss his touch. I used to lie next to him with my head on his hip, and he would stroke my back. These days he plays a game on his tablet. So I don’t lie there.

Those early months when our passion was heightened by the frenzy I felt that finally MrH wanted me as much as I wanted him. That passion, his desire was the biggest turn on for me and in the early months, I had more orgasms than I had had in a number of years.

It’s all I ever really want – to feel his desire, to feel his passion, to feel his need and know he wants me. For me sex is the way I feel that…. with the odd passionate kiss thrown in!!!

1 thought on “Horny as Hell”

  1. Thank you for your reply, it’s reassuring to know there are other people who feel this way.

    MrH did speak to me last night and he apologised, he said he would do better. I’m going to do a post on that later.

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