I don’t really have lists of what I want to do, I gave up on them after my dad died. What is the point of making lists and plans when they can be taken from you at the drop of a hat? So I can’t really do a bucket list. I believe if you want to do something bad enough don’t ever wait, you’re not guaranteed tomorrow. Instead I am going to do a wish list.
Living for Right Now
Does that mean I never make plans? Of course not, I mean I’m not a neanderthal. We plan holidays that get cancelled because my pain is too unstable. Every month we plan to go to the munch but rarely make it because of my ruddy back. We ARE going to Eroticon in 2020, the hotel is booked and the tickets ordered. I am hoping and praying we make it. I get so disheartened every time something is cancelled, it wears me down.
My Wish List
Since becoming MrH submissive I have made even fewer plans and lists, unless you count shopping lists. Handing control to him has taken that pressure and responsibility away from me, and that in turn has reduced my stress and anxiety. But, if I were to look into the next 12 months and what I would like to achieve they would be small and probably silly things.
I want to continue my blog. Posting regular content and contributing to writing prompts. Over the last 12 months I have built quite a following and I have managed to post regularly. I would like to continue that but I have asked MrH to help me with taking more photo’s so I can take part in Sinful Sunday and Lingerie is for Everyone more consistently.
How I hope so very much that in the next year I get offered a better and more permanent solution for the pain I am in. It would be nice to get some sort of normal life back.
I would like very much for MrH to feel like he can do more bondage and going to a rope workshop is something we have hoped to do. Perhaps 2020 will be the year we do.
We want to do more flogging and spanking, and when S2 left home we had plans for a playroom. As he has now come home we have had to abandon these plans; he needed his bedroom back. He has a temporary job and is working some evening shifts so we are making the most of these. I don’t know how we will be able to fit more of this into our life in 2020 but we will do our best with the opportunities we have.
Rules & Discipline.
I would like MrH to consider physical discipline when I break rules, and also for the rules to be reset and redefined as there have been a few changes over the year for various reasons, Whether or not he will is entirely his choice, but it is on my list.
Lots and lots of sex. I would like MrH to tell me to perform more oral sex on him; I love the feel of his cock in my mouth. When he orders me to my knees and fucks my mouth, as he did here, well, I get wet just thinking about it. I would also like there to be more anal and forced masturbation play where MrH watches. I have a love hate relationship with being made to tell him what I want and what I like; it makes me uncomfortable but turns me on at the same time and I think it would be fun for MrH to explore this more.
Most of all I just want to continue to be happy and content. If nothing changed and 2020 is the same (or similar) to 2019 I would consider myself very lucky. I would like to remain employed where I am now, and I really do not want to have to find and start another job next year, but that is just one aspect of my life. If I have MrH, a roof over our heads and money enough to pay our financial commitments and put food on the table, its all I need.
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