Not Broken

Earlier this month I wrote about my concerns that I couldn’t orgasm through masturbation any more [My fingers broken….] and quite some time ago I spoke about the change in my relationship with masturbation following the introduction of D/s in my post last Year.

What I didn’t say in my broken fingers post, was that part of my concern was that perhaps my back issue has caused it. The loss of feeling I experienced when I was recently admitted to hospital, the fact that the nerves are not happy at the moment, I worried that my clitoral nerves had become damaged, that maybe they would not respond to light touch for that reason.

Last night, well Saturday night originally MrH decided he would see if I was “broken”. We got set up and then MrH noticed a flashing light on his phone. He had messages from our eldest and the mood was ruined.

MrH decided to pick up again yesterday. On a Sunday we have a regular cane session and our youngest decided to take a walk to the shop. MrH decided to compliment the cane with some hand spanks.

After a delicious impact session I was floating. MrH spread my legs and started to touch me.

I felt wet but dry too.

I don’t know if that makes sense… in times past I would have melted into his touch. Yesterday I didn’t. And not because I didn’t want to.

“How’s that feel?” MrH asked.

I told him. He told me to roll over and got the lube and mat. He placed the mat underneath me and applied a generous amount of lube.

“You’re going to have to tell me if something feels nice,” he said.

My cheeks burned. The ones on my face as well as the ones he has spanked!

I don’t do well at talking. I feel embarrassed.

He moved his finger gently over my clit. Long steady strokes.

“That feels nice,” I said. Shame flaring I covered my head with a pillow.

“Move the pillow,” he said sternly. I complied.

“Touch my cock,” he instructed. “Maybe that will stop you twisting your fingers.”

I reached for him eagerly. Happy to have something to do with my hands. If they aren’t tied up they feel like spare parts when they aren’t occupied!!!

He changed movement. Circling my clit but never touching it. Frustrating me.

“That’s teasing.” I stated.

“Tell me why?” He said, “what do you want.”

“You’re touching to the left or right and I want it in the middle.”

He changed, using either 2 or 3 fingers, I’m not sure, he stroked me.

“That’s really nice,” I sighed.

We continued for some time. More lube was needed and added, (I may speak to the GP on Friday about it) MrH continued he slowed when I said I preferred it slower and then just as I was thinking more lube would be needed, suddenly I was really wet – go figure?!?!

With perseverance I did orgasm. It wasn’t the same as a wandgasm or the orgasms I have had through masturbation in the past but it was there. It was a gentle feeling of euphoria, a small ripple.

I used to be able to climax in less than 3 minutes. Sometimes it was all the time I had ๐Ÿ˜‚! Last night must have taken over 20 minutes.

Whether it’s a mental state thing, or a physical one, I guess more testing will be required. I did wonder if MrH was going to have me masturbate while he watched and that made me nervous (probably why he chose not to) as when he has set me that task previously he’s allowed me to use a toy. I guess he will probably save that for another time.

8 Replies to “Not Broken”

  1. Practice, practice, practice! That’s all you can do. It will come back.
    My aunt was partially paralyzed during surgery, caused by never damage to her lower back. It led to a numb feeling in her pussy, which later long after she could walk again. Her feeling did eventually come back. Her situation, I believe, was worse then yours, but I wanted you to know even if your nerves were damaged, it’s not permanent. They will heal and return to normal. ๐Ÿ˜Š

  2. 20 minutes must feel like a lifetime when you are used to 3. Maybe it’s a bit of both…mental and physical. If you’re put of practice, like k said…it’s good to have such a willing partner and coach, though I can see how that could also add to the pressure. Good luck!

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