Tell Me About: Rules

I have rules.

I’m not necessarily great at following them.

They started little. I was to be respectful to him. MrH doesn’t like me swearing and so he expected me not to swear and I was not to role my eyes at him.

The first time I asked him to help me by setting a rule was felt strange. It took me ages to work up to it. I had a bad habit and I asked MrH to help me manage it. I was waking up at night and getting a snack and it needed to stop. You can read the full post here but in short MrH agreed to help by setting a rule. In future I had to wake him up and ask permission to for downstairs for food at night.

The first time I broke the rule he punished me. You can read about it here and the punishment he dished out here in more detail. MrH didn’t punish me physically, instead he made me write lines. I hated it. I didn’t do it again.

When the new year arrived he set me new rules. I wasn’t expecting it New Year New Rules has all the details but in summary this is the email he sent me.

Now, these rules are still in place. Well not all of them. Rule 1 was abandoned quickly as it proved too much.

It may be reinstated at some time but at a lesser rate. My GP has recently told me that with my back problem I may find that I have to start exercising at a very slow rate. Probably doing only 3 to 5 minutes at a time for a few weeks and then increasing minutes at a time over a number of weeks.

I love that MrH picks my underwear and on a Friday I’m thinking about him all day knowing I am in work with no panties on.

I do follow rules 2, 4 and 5 all the time. Rule 3 well…… I’m flawed.

I try really hard. I really do. But I’m a stress eater. When I get anxious and stressed. When I feel sad. When I feel unsure I eat. Sometimes I don’t even know I’m doing it.

But I try.

Sometimes as my submissive feeling waxes and wanes I fall down on the following the diet plan rules.

I’ve also asked MrH a few times about positive feedback too for following the rules. Which I’ve written about in more detail here and as with many things rules require communication.

If you’re not invested in following them, if you’re not invested in enforcing them they are easy to ignore.

I’m motivated by a desire to please. So if I think what I’m doing is of no consequence then I become disinterested. But we’re real people in a real world and where in fiction a submissive has no other concerns but pleasing their Dominant, and the Dominant somehow knows everything that the submissive has done we do not have that. So MrH relies on me to self regulate and self report when it comes to rule 3.

It’s something I struggle with. The one time I did tell him I had eaten off plan he didn’t punish me with lines. He told me I’d let him down and that he didn’t know why we were doing this. It took a while for me to face the issues that this telling off created within me. It fed the insecurity in me. The fear that he would stop the dynamic. But eventually I did talk to him about the negative effect it had on me.

MrH decided to clarify the rules and punishments I could expect if I failed and in my post 8th December 2018 you can read the email and my thoughts at the time.

Following the diet plan is still an ongoing struggle. Sometimes we’re just lazy after a day at work and with things with my back being as they are, the cooking falls to MrH (although to be honest he does most of the cooking).

One things for sure, Rules form part of our dynamic and always will.

You can read more posts on the topic of Rules by clicking the image below….

6 Replies to “Tell Me About: Rules”

  1. I find that rules – and consequences to not obeying them – makes me feel secure somehow. Centers me, focuses me, especially when other things are going haywire in my life. It sounds like the two of you are making rules that make sense to both of you. Failing sometimes is a natural part of the process. Don’t beat yourself up – overcome and move on. 🙂

  2. I love that you have included the full process in establishing, following, not following and re-evaluating the rules. A really helpful post – thank you for sharing 🙂

  3. I totally understand the need to be reassured with positive feedback. It’s hard to want to do things if all you ever receive is punishment for not doing the things you are required to do. We are just getting back into things, and I also have the “no panties on Friday” rule. This coming Friday will be the first day without them. I can see how it will keep me thinking about him.

    Rules are tough. In the past, this (and consequences for not following them) is exactly where we failed. Communication is definitely the key to keeping things moving in the right direction.

    Thanks for sharing!

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