If you read my last post you’ll know I was planning to talk to MrH during our new weekly maintenance session. I made my list of prompts and managed to get through them, with some unintended hilarity I might add. We can be lazy when it comes to communication and that is why we made a commitment to talk every week.
Here is my list…
We talked about each point in turn.
MrH will say he doesn’t really like just laying there… he likes to be doing, so allowing me to simply pleasure him is something he really has to be in the mood for. As a result now things have calmed down, and we have passed the frenzy, he will tell me no if I try to touch him. Sometimes this does make me feel rejected but mostly now I just accept that he doesn’t want me to. If he did he would tell me to.
So, on Wednesday I explained that I like to please him, and I also like knowing I am doing something he enjoys, something just for him. Giving him oral also feeds my submissive mental state, it reinforces that I am his, and I asked if he could consider allowing me to do this for him more often. His response was that he gets more enjoyment out of giving me oral than just receiving it and as he’s in charge he chooses to do what he enjoys most.
Now, yes I accept that is how our dynamic works, and so if that is how he wants it that’s ok, but at least I have told him my thoughts. Which is a big step for me!
This one was a bit of a struggle for me as it feels so wrong to ask for it. The naughtiness of it appeals to me in a big way, and I get really aroused by all things anal. Toys, fingers, Sirs cock… but a few says after our last anal play I found I had a haemorrhoid which was extremely painful. Since then although MrH was aware I still wanted to pursue this he hasn’t shown any interest in doing so. I wanted to discuss this.
I began thus, “I really would like to explore anal more but if you’re not arsed then why even bother”. MrH laughed at my phrasing which seemed so appropriate yet awkward. Again MrH said part of this is to do with the issue that we encountered, but also that it isn’t something that easily “flows” in a scene. You have to stop and lube up, glove up and be aware of cross contamination issues. But he also said that he knows I enjoy it so he will think about how he can incorporate it into play.
I wanted to point out that we are allowing ourselves to be complacent. Our play is becoming quite predictable and as such it looses some of its effect. Every time we go to a hotel I am tied up and MrH then uses the wand. He force orgasms me until he then decides to use me to cum we aren’t really exploring anything new. Yes it’s fabulous and we have fun, yes it works but it’s not making the most of time away from home. Having said that our home play is also often the same. MrH tells me to lie, spread legs and then he plays as he wishes.
MrH agreed that this is the case and he had thought it himself that he needed to put more thought into it. It’s actually one of the things I am most conscious of, that the power exchange leaves MrH being the one who has to come up with the ways in which to keep things interesting. I know I can make suggestions but he has to make a plan and carry it out. He leads, I follow.
Anyway, all in all it was a good chat I think. I certainly managed to get through it without hiding and afterwards the cane was applied to my derriere in delightful strikes. As the old BT adverts used to say “It’s good to talk”.