13th December 2018 – part 2

Headaches – mine and MrH’s meant the cane was not brought out yesterday. I understand why, of course I do I’m not a selfish person, but I am still disappointed. I enjoy it. I get a lot out of it. A damn good nights sleep usually if nothing else…. but such is life.

Tonight MrH has gone to his mums and I did my lines….

Honest they are all there!

I stressed out today too, which made the tension in my shoulders and neck worse. So my headache has been on and off. Not as bad as yesterday, but still there.

Let me explain. MrH has said I must take a picture of everything I eat and drink and send it to him.

When I’m at work, my phone is on silent. It is usually covered with a various pieces of paper, and I may check it mid day. Often it is connected to a speaker and I am playing music.

Monday and Tuesday I didn’t hook my phone up. We had no music on, but my phone was next to where I put my drinks and so taking a picture was easy. The audio cable is about 1m long (if that) so my phone is limited in its range.

So remembering to pick up my phone and send a picture is not easy. I have to be aware of what Bee and Dee are doing to help and guide them as well as doing my own work. And as such my brain is whirring at 100mph doing several things.

Yesterday I failed miserably to send the pictures.

Today I did better, but it was highly stressful. I want to make him proud. I want to earn treats and rewards. I don’t want any more lines!

So this evening I said to MrH “I was quite stressed today.”

“Why?”

“Well, usually my phone is connected to the music and it gets lost under a pile of stuff out of my immediate sight and so when I get drinks and dinner, it’s not visible. I have to find it and try and put the stuff close enough to it to take the picture. So I have been worried all day about forgetting.”

“I see. Then no more pictures. It’s not practical.”

“But I don’t like that!” I argued back. “It’s a rule you only just made and I’m letting you down.”

He looked at me. “I made it the rule, it’s not practical. That’s the end of it.”

It wasn’t what I wanted. I just wanted to explain why I may sometimes forget. Why I don’t always see his messages until a few hours later. Why I would like to get a 3.5mm audio cable that’s at least 5m long!

But as he is in charge I need to just shut that down and move on.

Oh and stop being a whiny arse while I’m at it!

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