“Talk to me….”
We say this a lot don’t we? As partners? Is it just women? Surely not. I mean I know I have in the past. Talk to me.
“What are you thinking?”
I’m fascinated to know what you think about when you’re quiet. When you’re looking at me. When you’re watching tv. Because my mind is always thinking.
MrH will tell me, “nothing”.
I can’t imagine that. Silence. My inner voice narrates constantly. I try to occupy it. Sudoku…. find the numbers… 1, 2, 3, the voice speaks. Colour by numbers. Where’s the next one, where is it?
Nothing. How is that possible.
In the early days of our D/s MrH would command me, lie still. He would talk to me, and tell me things, how wet I was, how I was a good girl sucking his cock, did I like it, etc and my narrator would loose power. My mind disconnected. I was a body. A tangle of feelings. I would hear moans and not know it was me.
I remember during some discussions on The Safewords Club when SubMissy said she could struggle to get into the right mindset for play and that sometimes HisLordship would be unable to, or may struggle to change her mindset. Everyday Life would have effected her mindset. I’m paraphrasing here so forgive me as SubMissy is much more eloquent, their dynamic would grow and change then level out as they adjusted. Then they would push further, explore more.
I remember thinking I wonder if that will happen to us.
Well of course it did. Life happens. We have grown, plateaued, pushed on. I have at times lost my mind set and struggled to focus.
But we push on.
We find the triggers that help the mind set and find ways to use them.
For example, kneeling. If MrH plans to play, instead of allowing me to get into bed, he can instruct me to kneel and wait for him while he cleans his teeth etc. This allows me to spend a few minutes, in a different place, in a different physical position to sleep, to prepare my mind for him.
During play, the talking, really triggers my mind into a deeper space.
But still I wonder, “what are you thinking?”
MrH will probably roll his eyes when he reads this one today, but this is something we have been talking about a lot recently, how I need him to be more verbal, more open with his thoughts, and his is something I know he’s trying to work on.
If you haven’t already explored The Safewords Club I cant recommend it enough. It’s a wonderful community full of wonderful people all travelling this kinky path.