Things have been strange recently. I think D/s has become our normal/default setting and so in many ways the sparkly new shine it once had has gone.
I don’t mean to suggest that I’m not content because I am – very much so. I still feel calmer and more settled than before. I am still consumed by desire and need for Sir.
Our communication is still better than ever and I am getting better at asking for things. There is of course room for improvement, both for me and for MrH. I need to speak up and ask when I like something, instead of feeling embarrassed. MrH needs to remember to initiate a debrief. But we accept we are not infallible or perfect.
In the beginning the introduction of D/s is/was intoxicating. We were sexually supercharged. We sent dirty messages to each other during the day and at bed time MrH and I would allow the passion to erupt.
Of course life does get in the way at times. Where I used to work was quiet and steady. I could respond to messages easily. Then I was out of work for a while, and worked part-time for a time. My new job is busy and I probably look at my phone twice during the day. If I’m lucky. So we don’t seem to send messages any more.
With the return of me working full time our home life has settled again into a routine of sorts. We are back to having just one child at home (I say child – he is 20 years old) and at present he isn’t working. He does tend to be occupied on his computer/Xbox on an evening and occasionally he goes out which allows us some more alone time.
Yesterday was one such evening. He went to the local pub with some friends and so MrH decided to play. He used his flogger and candles. We had supper and cuddled for a while afterwards, then Sir instructed me to suck his cock. I was even allowed to continue until he came in my mouth and so I was very content when we settled to sleep last night.
Of course I have also been super horny all day (week). My last orgasm was on Saturday morning in the hotel before we left, and I’m still affected the same by the submissive mind set as I have always been. I want Sir all the time.
We have been working on the bedroom redesign this weekend. One wall of our bedroom is now ready for painting. We have the shelf to put up under the TV for the NOW TV box and we have the hanging rails to put up in the dressing room. Once they are all up the clothes can be moved and the second wardrobe in our bedroom dismantled. I don’t know if MrH plans to do that tomorrow, and I have realised that I mustn’t push this as that isn’t allowing MrH to be in control. Quite the opposite. So today I have kept quiet and followed his lead. It’s been quite challenging, as it’s not our/my “normal” way but I got through it. Instead of trying to organise and push MrH into doing things to my schedule I have waited for him to tell me when he planned to do something then I have asked to help. We have done quite a bit. Enough really. I probably would have tried to do more. Too much more. Which is why I decided I should remember he is in charge for a reason. He knows best. He really does know when to stop, when I need to stop.
It’s now coming to 7pm. That’s time for baths and getting ready for bed. I want to try and finish painting one more kitchen chair before then.. that will mean 2 of the 5 are done. But instead I will rest. I really want to finish them all this weekend and the table pedestal but I need MrH help with the table pedestal as it has to be taken off the table for me to paint it. I know MrH will either allow me to or he won’t. And if he doesn’t it will be because I will have done enough.
It will be strange when the bedroom project is complete, as we will have a lot more space… MrH has plans to put points on the wall that I can be tied to. He also plans to make a bench similar to HisLordships, but that will be a while off yet.
So for now I will wait until My Sir wants to play with me. I will be ready and eager when he does. He’s my Sir, my love, my husband and protector. I asked him to lead our lives and he has, and I need to work on letting him lead in all things not just the bits I feel comfortable with.