I am his

I started to take part in Sinful Sunday as a way of challenging my negative body image. Despite having lost a lot of weight, I still struggle to accept that I might be attractive. The idea with Sinful Sunday, for me, was to see if that was a true statement.

MrH tells me I am beautiful, sexy, stunning… and I feel his tenderness and sincerity when he does. Momentarily I believe him but then doubt creeps in.

See, my early experiences of body image we’re not good. My step dad would tell me I had no figure worth showing off. The boys at school called me flat chested and frigid. My first real boyfriend became my first husband and he left me for a slimmer taller girl. At the time I was a perfect size 10.

So the idea was this. If other people not connected to me in any way were to say I was attractive/pretty/sexy then I would have to start to accept that maybe I am.

To a certain extent this has worked. On the other hand it has created other less desirable things.

My twitter account shows links to my posts and if I share a revealing image inevitably I will receive direct messages from men. It’s almost as if my sharing these images these men think I am open to a casual sexual conversation. I have amended my profile to say people must ask MrH before contacting me. Some do, and some don’t. If they don’t they get deleted. Mostly MrH will say no and tell them if they want to speak to me do so openly by commenting on a post.

One thing I have come to realise is this.

The only person I want telling me I am sexy/attractive etc, is MrH. When it comes to my body he is the only person who’s opinion I care about.

I am his.

8 Replies to “I am his”

  1. Anytime I compliment someone on here it is with the intent to validate their photographic offerings. I don’t lie and I don’t do it to pick anyone up nor start any risqué conversation. I appreciate beauty and like to share that appreciation. I have my Queen and am very happy with her. However regardless of what others say, you really only need to listen to your man. You are indeed his.

    1. I could but don’t want to. I receive message that are ok and some that are not. That wasn’t really the point of the post… what I am really saying that I no longer feel the need to participate in Sinful Sunday.

      1. It’s a shame that some send inappropriate messages. I’m sorry I missed the point of your post but I’m glad you’re where you need to be now x

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