A few posts recently have focused on facing fears, pushing past them, defeating them.
Missy (subMissy) shared in a recent post that she is going to try and face her body image issues by taking part in an online photo sharing project and Dayliacatt commented on her post that her Master had set her the task of posting pictures on certain websites to show her that she was attractive to the masses.
I take my hat off to these ladies.
I’ve posted some pictures of myself, it’s true, but when I posted them I was in all honesty high as a kite on endorphins and sex! I mean who doesn’t feel sexy as fuck after a bloody fantastic session (or two or three).
If I look at these images in the cool light of normality all I see are flaws. Thighs that are lumpy and fat, that bulge over my knees. Fat calves and lumpy ankles. If I wear hold up stockings they dig in and again my thighs look like they are being cut in two… My belly is scarred by stretch marks and surgical scars. By breasts once full and bouncy now look saggy and droop. I’ve lost 5 stone. Most of the time I’m thrilled with it. Clothed I’m more than happy with myself.
Naked… I’m still disappointed. I kneel and look at my thighs. Fat and chunky. I’d probably need to loose another 2 stone to have any chance of having legs I could be proud of.
But I’d risk having no bust at all if I did. And I would hate that.
I wish I could be less critical of myself.
I wish I could see myself through MrH eyes. He takes such delight in me.
I have to close my mind off to a part of myself and think only of his touch, his body, what he wants of me.
I have a voucher I got before Christmas (and before I was banned from purchasing without permission) it’s for a boudoir photography shoot. The voucher gets me 1 A4 print to keep. I need to book it in the next 2 months, which is fine, only right now… I can’t. I wanted to do it as a surprise. I’m going to have to ask MrH to accompany me. I’m going to need him to select the outfits. Because I am not brave enough.
So, I’m in awe of the aforementioned ladies, to Missy for deciding to challenge herself, and to Dayliacat for doing as she was instructed.
As Dayliacat discovered from her experience there are many people who also view her body as sexy and beautiful, I’m sure Missy will be equally admired, I certainly think she has a stunning figure (and I’m extremely jealous)….