26th July 2017
‘MrH is taking such good care of me. I’ve not felt this way before. I’m aroused thinking of him, ready for his possession at almost any time. I am his. I want him to claim every part of me; to make me his in every way possible. We are going away this weekend and my pussy is pulsating at the thought of what’s to come.’
It’s now November and I often read back through my journal entries from these early days. People talk about the ‘frienzy’ that can occur when you start in a D/s relationship but it’s only with reflection that it becomes clear how true this is.
It is hard to prepare for. I wrote a few days after this initial entry that ‘I feel like an addict and MrH is my drug of choice’ and that’s how it felt. I could be sat at work and when MrH sent me a message I would turn into a quivering wreck, perhaps loose my train of thought, sometimes even in the middle of a sentence.
This has calmed down thankfully or I may have been sacked! But what hasn’t changed is that intensity of need. When he commands me, I am ready. I am his.