Following on from my post Horny as Hell I feel I need to explain myself… the post may have come across as if I am unhappy with my lot and as if MrH isn’t making me happy. That isn’t exactly correct. I am happy with MrH. I just struggle with my expectations and reality.
I like being submissive. It took years to find that was my happy state. What I want is for MrH to control that. I want to feel submissive because he makes me feel that way.
The New Normal.
Our ritual of collar swapping has lost some of its effect because it’s become “normal” the shine has worn off it I guess.
This seems to happen in most married D/s relationships, there is a plateau where you have to decide to stay still and work there, trying to keep things shiny and passionate within the comfort zone, or you push forward into new things.
The thing is if you decide not to push forward you have to put a heck of a lot of effort into making things exciting. Passion can easily fade. Staying motivated is not easy when things become normal, or routine. It’s very easy to become blasé about things.
I was told early in the journey that MrH couldn’t be expected to drive my submission alone. I should also maintain this state myself. I should do things to make me feel submissive. In the beginning (as you do) I took this advice and ran with it. Even though my head didn’t really like it. I thought why am I doing this? I don’t want a D/s relationship with myself! There are things I do now because I like feeling useful – like running MrH’s bath when he has one. But that doesn’t make me feel submissive.
So I wondered, what does?
- When MrH holds me and kisses me until we’re breathing hard (if he gets an erection it’s even more effective).
- When MrH tells me off for not following rules. Or
- When MrH reminds me to follow them.
- When MrH tells me what he wants to do to me.
- When MrH demands things of me.
- When MrH tells me to do something.
- When MrH takes charge.